Sunday, July 20, 2008

"Star Trek, My Love," my 4th vid

Well, I went ahead and posted this on youTube after all, though I'm not objective on this one, and I can't judge its merits.
It's my personal story, which naturally incorporates the history of my times and my planet.
Do let me know what you think.
(In theory, anyway, I could still re-edit the thing.)

There are timeline notes and sources to accompany the photos on the video's youTube site. (Click on "more info" in the description box.)

And let me add here that I laughed to realize that when I was thirteen, I actually looked a little like Kim Darby (the girl here, from Star Trek's "Miri" episode).

It took me a long time to get this one together, partly because I spent a lot of time looking through historical photos, partly because the heavy emotions slowed me down (working on it felt important, but it wasn't fun like the other 3), and partly because I had a hell of a time choosing music.

I couldn't think of a piece of music that covered the varying emotions, so I tried to mix clips, but I'm so unschooled in musical technology, it was just a frustrating failure.

Last night I was futzing with it and I thought, why not try one of my most favorite tunes, "In My Life"?
Not only did the reflective lyrics and melody fit, but the length was just about right too. I only had to do a bit of rearranging to get align it pretty neatly.

P.S. "LVD" of course is my mother.


Anonymous said...

My dearest Fresca, you've created a little gem. Mixing the personal and the past so touchingly. Of course the music is absolutely the only thing possible, and the words, (not too personal but the sadness and aloneness come through in a way that we all relate to) and the ending. (I have tears in my eyes). . .there's nothing amiss, you've accomplished a testament to youth in the sixties and on up....up to the assured and confident voice at the end.
Congratulations on an achievement that could have failed but in your hands turns into a crowning success.

Deanna said...

I sure like this. Not just a fanvid, it's a video memoir. Wonderful job.

Anonymous said...

Hey, WomynGrrrrl!

Ah, bliss! just watched this with my Jim. He convinced me to try to watch gugeo on Firefox instead of going to where I have you bookmarked on Netscape...Things kept freezing up. So, when I don't feel boxed in by Jim, he often helps me think and do things outside of the boxes.. that's what friends and mates are for...You sure do open up the universe as a great big gift to us all, dear one. You are a wonderment! No analysis or editing needed from me. 'M gonna go cry somewhere, now...and think/feel of mothers 'n' such!



Jennifer said...

Ah, my husband is across the table from me sniffling madly. This was wonderful and moving know, there's very little one can say about it, but it would be unforgivable to not say anything. I really love the wry reversal in how you view Kirk and Spock, how you've come to appreciate both of them (whether in black-and-white or in color), and what it all means to you. It's passionate and self-aware and balanced and very sweet. I'm really glad you were able to share it with us.

Rudyinparis said...

God, how gorgeous. And the song is perfect. Perfect.

poodletail said...

Yes. Perfect.
This video is so moving I couldn't watch it all in one piece but in halves. I'll watch it all together after another coffee.
How did you find the courage, Fresca?

Rudyinparis said...

I keep watching this and watching this and I actually wrote a whole 'nother comment, blathering on about blah blah blah and it somehow eneded up being all about me which was dumb and not what I wanted. So I do just want you to know that this is so lovely and I'm somehow unable to tear myself away. You really have a gift when it comes to creating these vids.

(P.S, the Waxing Gibbous comment was put there with you in mind!)

Anonymous said...

your last video made me cry. thanks for creating and sharing it.

Sal said...

DANGIT. I finally have time to look over these Star Trek videos you've been madly making and YouTube won't let me play them. Will keep trying.

bink said...

Even though I watched it half a dozen times last night, it still made me cry when I watched it again right now.

I've said it before, I'll say it again, "you are a bloody genius!",

It's so excellent and true.

Sal said...

Hi dearest. Finally got it - had to watch through IE or it'd just stall. Weird.

I wonder if the Beatles knew when they wrote that song that it would become one of the most emotionally powerful pieces of modern music - and to thousands of people in thousands of different ways. Sometimes you CAN know that kind of thing about your own work ...

ANYWAY, I'll admit to not really "getting" the other videos, as a non-fan. I feel a little left out. ;) But, you know, I get this. And you are brave and strong and I am proud to know you. I'm sure it sucked up a huge amount of your personal resources to make this happen, and I hope you are in celebratory mode now. Who knows? Perhaps this video will impact countless thousands, too.

Much love to you.

fresca said...

Wow, thank you all.

It is humbling in an awesome way that the main thing I'm hearing from people (here and elsewhere) is, "That made me cry."

I wept a lot making it, so it's gratifying that the video is moving, and in fact more than I expected it to be.
(And I'm really glad I used a song that has that sweet/sad feeling too.)

R: I wish you had sent along the personal reflections--maybe write it as an e-mail?
I also worried that this video was too self-indulgent, blathering on about me and being dumb, in fact! So if it inspired others to write in kind, that's a good thing.

Our stories are worth telling and worth listening to, and my belief in that is where I got the courage that Poodletail so rightly names.

fresca said...

Oh, as I wrote this, Bink and Sally's comments came in--thanks for writing too! I really appreciate it, especially because, as I said, I had no clue how this vid would "read" to others.

And Sal, yeah, the other vids are really about Star Trek, and I was aware that only fans would really get the references;
but this one is about me, and I *hoped* somewhat about being human, and your response shows me it worked.
Thank you for telling me.

Yeah, sometimes you just know you've nailed something--I'd be surprised if the Beatles did NOT know they had created a little jewel of perfect poignancy.

Also I showed it to my father yesterday, who was in town visiting my sister, and I could tell he was moved.
He pretty much never gives compliments, but later in the afternoon he was cutting some cheese and he took the sticky tag off the cheese package that read "Award Winning" and stuck it on me. Which is huge for us, who are not easy together.

Manfred Allseasons said...

This is a lovely film. Thank you.

It is surprising how we can all see something of our own lives in yours.....well, maybe not so surprising.....

You must keep making films!

ddip said...

In the famous words of Meg in Crimes of the Heart, "It's a human need to talk about our lives." I'm so glad you told this story, and yes, I cried too. (Well, you were there when I watched it, so you know....)

momo said...

Oh, fresca. I went home after our coffee and watched this. I cried. I talked to my mother later. Now I'm sitting on the couch, having watched it three more times, just sobbing because I know a very little bit about what this means to you, and it speaks in so many ways to me.

I like how you used the lack of images a few times. It is very powerful. I like the rhythm of the editing with the music. Something about Spock petting the tribble was so funny and unbearably poignant.

You do have a gift for this.

fresca said...

Manfred: Well, "Homo sum: humani nil a me alienum puto," right?
("I am a human, so nothing human seems alien to me.")

Sister: I am proud to warrant a quote from your favorite movie! Thanks.

Momo: Oh, and DOUBLE thanks for mentioning the tribble!
That episode is almost entirely lightweight, but the scene of Spock unwittingly responding to a silly little pet is indeed poignant, as is Kirk's affectionate bemusement.
Kirk and Spock's love is for me, among other things, a model of how to love a difficult person--and which one is the difficult one depends on where you stand.

I do want to keep working with sound, words, and images--I find I actually like the challenge of editing--trying to match the rhythm of music, motion, and meaning.
And people's responses have been very encouraging.
Thank you, everybody, for responding.

Maura said...

Dearest solar plexus is heavy and tight and eyes are welled up with tears, i.e. this touches me to the core each time I view it and makes me weep;). Binky is right that you're simply a blood genius. I'm moved by both your substance and form---a perfect fit, just like you, in yourself, today. There's so much to love here---your respect for & gift with language and the ability to marry it with images and music in particular. So many things captured my imagination and own sense of history. Thank you for giving us this great example of loving oneself and love of others, even when they are the source of our pain. (btw, I love that you included that you slept alot; I only vaguely remember that, as you know!) with love from your mate, iloveyoumauralynch

Bookworm said...


fresca said...

Maura: I always marvel that you don't remember me sleeping on your couch, all those days and nights. : )
Thanks for your moving comments.

And your lovely succinct one, Bookworm!

Maura said...

Well, it's not that I don't remember it, I just don't recall that it was with the frequency that I have no doubt you're right about....I guess they just all blended together over time:) Maybe the transporter was broken or on the fritz at the time...!