Ray's Last Winter: "I see you trying."

Ray came in yesterday. When I first started at the store, he was sober, and he used to sit in the religious books section and read.
He started drinking bad a few years ago, and now in the cold weather he comes to stay warm. (The homeless shelters are closed in the daytime.) Every year he's worse. Last winter I'd had to throw out the cloth-covered chair in BOOK's after he'd sat dozing in it. I replaced it with a plastic chair that can be wiped down.

I'd wondered if we'd see him around now. Sure enough.
It was in the 40s yesterday, and Ray was so drunk he could barely stand up. The whites of his eyes were yellow, and his brown skin had taken on an inhuman tone, as if he were taxidermied.

Big Boss and a couple furniture guys set up a cushy, broken armchair  in the parking lot and convinced Ray to sit there. I wrapped him up in a sleeping bag.
"Mamacita," he said, "I need a cap for my head." (He used to know my name.)
I got him a winter hat with fake-fur ear flaps.

He slept all afternoon. Grateful-J said, "Maybe he'll sober up."
Grateful-J doesn't always connect the dots.
"I hope I don't end up like that," he said. He does a fair amount of substances himself.

"Quit drinking," I said.

"I don't drink that much," he said.

When we were about to close, Big Boss said, "I'm going to have to call the boys in blue."

The cop and the ambulance workers were kind. "Do you need medical help?"
As usual, Ray refused all help, insisting, "There is no problem."
He got up and staggered off, and they let him go.

Over the years, Ray's been forced into the drunk tank. He's been hospitalized, helped by his (former) church, connected to social services. Once his feet were soaking wet, and I washed them in the mop room and found him dry socks and a new pair of boots. I've sat with him trying to find his relatives online. Pointless. Try googling Juan Hernandez (not his name). Like that.

Nothing helped.

At the end of the day, I said to Big Boss, "I don't know what else we could do. We've tried for years."

"We have," he said. He looked right at me. "I've seen you trying."

For all the good it did Ray. But, yeah.