Thursday, September 30, 2021

"Have something to say, say it, and sit down. "

This  bit of interview with Native Spokane-Coeur d'Alene writer Sherman Alexie from 1998 could be said of the new series Reservation Dogs (on Hulu) too:

Sherman Alexie wanted the film [Smoke Signals] to break with tradition.

In an interview with the Oregonian (July 7, 1998), he says that Smoke Signals “challenges the cinematic history of Indians.”

His Indian characters are virtually new to the big screen, posing a contrast to the stereotypes of Indians as “stoic and alcoholic,” as “depressed poor people.”
According to Alexie, “Indians are the most joyous people in the world.”

He says, “The two funniest groups of people I’ve been around have been Indians and Jews. So I guess there’s something to be said about the inherent humor of genocide.”
Via copdei.extension.org/smoke-signals

Reservation Dogs starts with a nod to Smoke Signals--like that film, it opens with a shot of the reservation and a radio announcement of the weather.

Trailer for Reservation Dogs:


What's Behind an Apology?

I thought of Alexie watching The Chair too.
When some women spoke publicly about Alexie's sexual improprieties, Alexie proved incapable of making a good apology.

He released a statement with an apology, yes, but most of the statement was his counter accusations, blah, blah, blah.
I was so disappointed. I've loved Alexie's work so much--Smoke Signals is a favorite film––and I thought he'd get it and be different than the other predators revealed by #MeToo.
But he was just the same.

Tip: Guilty of hurting someone?
Just say, "I'm sorry", and take a seat.
Save the explanations or self-defense for other people in other places.

I've tried to implement this simple & sometimes difficult art myself, since seeing people do it so badly.

A while ago at work, carrying a pair of scissors I walked past a young Black coworker who has dreadlocks.
I made a snipping gesture toward his hair, jokingly.

"Don't do that," he said, deadly serious. "I mean it."

I apologized, but added in self-defense that I was joking, of course I wouldn't have done it (though I'm sure that was obvious).

He said nothing.

The next day I said to him,
"I apologize for threatening to snip your hair. It was stupid, and I won't do it again, not to you or to anybody."

He said, "Thank you."
_____________________

The whole first season of The Chair revolves around a likable professor (a middle-aged white guy who was culturally hip when he was younger) making a stupid mistake and being unable to bring himself to say he's sorry.

The prof's mistake in context is minor––he gives a Nazi salute while talking about fascism; it blows up because it's taken out of context on social media.
But the point is, he can't just say, Yes, I'm sorry. Period.
Sort of like Al Franken.

There's power and grace in being able to say, "The buck stops here", and then actually saying it.

_______________________

Related: Eleanor Roosevelt wrote:

"When I first began to speak, which was soon after my husband had polio, his very wise adviser, Louis Howe, told me that as a beginner it was well to write the opening sentence and the closing paragraph and in between never under any circumstances do more than put down headings.

"His cardinal principle was: have something to say, say it, and sit down.

"I have tried to remember that ever since.
He used to say that beginners often went on talking, repeating themselves over and over again because they did not know where to stop or, as he phrased it, they had no terminal facilities. That was why he told me to write an ending as well as a beginning."

"My Day", February 19, 1955
www2.gwu.edu/~erpapers/myday/displaydoc.cfm?_y=1955&_f=md003097

P.S. I've always been curious about Howe. There's a bio (2011)--it gets mixed reviews but is his only bio, so I just requested it from the library:


4 comments:

Michael Leddy said...

I found that students really liked Smoke Signals.

The opening segment of this This American Life episode — https://www.thisamericanlife.org/354/mistakes-were-made — has some discussion of the ways in which apologies go wrong (e.g., “If I offended anyone”).

I’m sorry, it was wrong/cruel/stupid, I won’t do it again: I don’t think anyone needs to hear more than that.

“Terminal facilities”: I almost wish I still had to attend meetings so that I could make use of that phrase.

Linda Sue said...

LOVE this post- I love Alexi no matter his improprieties - there are no gods. I saw a pair of socks the other day that said"stop talking" - I would wear them on my head to be seen by all. I live with a chatter box, I am quiet, I have head phones. Chatter is like a hoard , like litter, and is constantly annoying, confusing, jumbled, demanding, un- sort-able. Just get to the point and shut up. Grateful for ear phones!

Joanne Noragon said...

I've read multitudes of FDR books, and thus a lot about Howe. He was dedicated to his job. He worked through sick unto death and revived and worked some more.

Fresca said...

MICHAEL: Ha-ha, the William Carlos Williams poem as an example of a non-apolgy apology--good one!
"I'm not really sorry I ate those plums."

LINDA SUE: My own ability to forgive or overlook the bad behavior of people like Alexie helps me understand how people forgive or overlook the bad behavior of people they admire (but I don't), like Trump.

JOANNE: Persistence is all. Or, a lot, anyway.