“Sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness…”– Galway Kinnell, “Saint Francis and the Sow”
OMG, do I feel better after yesterday's inauguration of President Biden and Vice Pres Harris.
Do you?
I felt like I exhaled fully for the first time in FOUR+ years.
I feel re-energized to work for good things--including taking better care of myself (an ongoing thing).
We've been staying in an AirBnB over in my old neighborhood while the windows are replaced, and while I'd dreaded being back here (crowded, noisy, dirty, near some people I don't like), it turns out I'm LOVING the energy!
For instance, yesterday I went into the corner store where I always used to buy milk---to buy milk. I think the owner recognized me, even with a mask.
At any rate, when I asked him if he'd watched the inauguration, he said, "It's a shame."
I was surprised---I thought he'd be a Biden supporter.
But he continued.
"The president. He left the White House."
A-ha, I get it. He's an immigrant, I'm not sure where, but I think he comes from a culture of honor, like my Sicilian father. Trump brought dishonor on himself--not because he's guilty as hell, but because he did not do the honorable thing when he lost.
"Yes," I said. "Shameful! He acted like a child. He should have been a man--shown some grace."
That was it.
And I get it. Americans don't seem to place much value on personal honor. It's more like, if you can make a million bucks, you can do anything. Grab anything.
Though I hear the owner of Home Depot who’d always supported The Shameful One said he felt betrayed after the attack on the US Capitol, so maybe not ANYTHING.
Anyway, being in this neighborhood makes me want to move back, but I have to get more work first. So I will!
Julia gave me a 3M respirator to wear May the thrift store. I love that I look like a pink bug! I’ll see if it’s wearable for several hours.
Meanwhile, in the interest of my health, happiness, and sanity, I'm also going to open a
hard conversation with HouseMate (HM) about some better boundaries and
communication styles.
Googling around about setting boundaries I found a helpful "A Guide for People Pleasers". Among its 30 steps, I especially like:
1. Prioritize the stuff that keeps you happy, healthy, and sane.
2. Say no to the stuff that doesn’t work for you, and explain why. Or, say no but respectfully affirm the other person’s desire.
Or, don’t bother offering an explanation:
You don’t need to explain yourself if you don’t want to. This is one of my favorite moves.
4 comments:
living with others - drop all expectations, give yourself frequent time outs, acknowledge positively when some one else does the dishes, take care of yourself and your own biz...it is like being married.
We on the other side of the world are also happy, I feel like a great weight is gone from my shoulders. It wasn't there for the whole four orange years, but showed up around the same time as Covid.
it is a shameful thing that he just took his stuff and went home instead of properly handing over the keys and pointing out things such as which window sticks, which light fitting needs a brighter/dimmer bulb, that's your private sitting room through that door etc. Still, I'm glad he's gone and though he says he'll be back I very much doubt it.
You do look a bit like a pink bug! LOL
LINDA SUE: I don't know how well I'd do at being married... All that togetherness!
It would help to have a nice house and a separate studio, I imagine.
A Room of One's Own.
RIVER: Ha, you got it, so funny and perfect--the handover.
"This door handle always sticks." Etc.
STEVE: Respirators look gooney!
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