I read Annie Lamott's "My Year on Match.com" this morning.
Oh, great, I thought. Her lackluster experiences are exactly what I'd expect myself. Should I immediately give up on finding someone?
Lamott also says,
“No matter how things look or how long they take. Don’t quit before the miracle.”
Col. Tara below, agrees.
She wanted a yellow raincoat for TWENTY years, and now she has one. It's by Vogue Dolls, the leading US doll manufacturer in the 1950s. ($12, including shipping on eBay. I spend more on the girlettes than I spend on myself. But it's very cool--the zipper works and everything.)
Now Col. Tara is patiently waiting for it to rain.
My miracle would be, Someone to Make Toast for Me (and vice versa).
One of us would make toast, and we would eat the toast while reading on opposite ends of the couch, looking up occasionally to say, "Listen to this!"
Lamott didn't give up.
She's married now, to someone she met on OurTime, an online dating site for people 50+.
I filled out a profile on OurTime, but you can't exchange messages until you pay for an upgrade, and when I try to pay, the site keeps sending me ERROR messages.
If I think of this as a Project---research into cultural anthropology––something to blog about, perhaps––it's more appealing than if I think, I will find someone for reciprocal toast making.
As for the man/woman question...
I wish they had an option, "looking for a man or a woman".
I definitely fall in love romantically with women, if not sexually. Lamott says, a lot of women aren't all that into sex at this age.
It's never been much of a motivator for me.
Certainly at this stage, it can't compete with toast and reading on the couch.
I would be interested in what used to be called a Boston Marriage--two women living together in a partnership that might or might not be sexual.
I guess I could fill out the "looking for a woman" and just SAY ALL THAT.
Yes. I am putting too much pressure on myself to get this right.
I'll just give it a try.
And--voila--the site finally let me pay for a 6-month membership. Geez. $90! I could have bought seven more raincoats for the girlettes...
Well, I'm game.
Oh, great, I thought. Her lackluster experiences are exactly what I'd expect myself. Should I immediately give up on finding someone?
Lamott also says,
“No matter how things look or how long they take. Don’t quit before the miracle.”
Col. Tara below, agrees.
She wanted a yellow raincoat for TWENTY years, and now she has one. It's by Vogue Dolls, the leading US doll manufacturer in the 1950s. ($12, including shipping on eBay. I spend more on the girlettes than I spend on myself. But it's very cool--the zipper works and everything.)
Now Col. Tara is patiently waiting for it to rain.
My miracle would be, Someone to Make Toast for Me (and vice versa).
One of us would make toast, and we would eat the toast while reading on opposite ends of the couch, looking up occasionally to say, "Listen to this!"
Lamott didn't give up.
She's married now, to someone she met on OurTime, an online dating site for people 50+.
I filled out a profile on OurTime, but you can't exchange messages until you pay for an upgrade, and when I try to pay, the site keeps sending me ERROR messages.
If I think of this as a Project---research into cultural anthropology––something to blog about, perhaps––it's more appealing than if I think, I will find someone for reciprocal toast making.
As for the man/woman question...
I wish they had an option, "looking for a man or a woman".
I definitely fall in love romantically with women, if not sexually. Lamott says, a lot of women aren't all that into sex at this age.
It's never been much of a motivator for me.
Certainly at this stage, it can't compete with toast and reading on the couch.
I would be interested in what used to be called a Boston Marriage--two women living together in a partnership that might or might not be sexual.
I guess I could fill out the "looking for a woman" and just SAY ALL THAT.
Yes. I am putting too much pressure on myself to get this right.
I'll just give it a try.
And--voila--the site finally let me pay for a 6-month membership. Geez. $90! I could have bought seven more raincoats for the girlettes...
Well, I'm game.
I met my husband on match.com, back in the days before it got weird. Never had much luck dating IRL, but online dating was made for nerdy shy people, I think. It also lets you screen out the illiterates and underwear sniffers.
ReplyDeleteI think a Boston marriage sounds pretty good. Or separate houses close together. At 61, I’m just not that interested in sex any more.
Well bravo for taking the plunge -- and yeah, just be open to whatever happens and see where it takes you. As you said, if nothing else, it ought to provide some good stories. I've never heard the term "Boston Marriage" -- LOL -- that's awesome!
ReplyDeleteANNIE: Thanks for sharing the tale of your success--encouraging.
ReplyDeleteI think the Internet is a huge boon for many of us!
STEVE: If I focus on this endeavor as a source of good stories, I'm less nervous about the whole deal.