Thursday, May 14, 2015

Parrots & Procrastination

Do you save images and then forget where you found them?

I try to keep track, but I don't remember where this little budgie-type parrot with its fetching cap came from, but it makes me smile.
Which I need: 
working at home again, I'm feeling a bit anxious. More accurately, I'm feeling a bit anxious about not working.
That is, I'm supposed to be putting together the book proposal-outline, and I am... but at glacial speed.

On top of feeling anxious about it, I'm also feeling disappointed that I'm feeling that way, so it's one of those emotional traffic jams when one emotion stalls and others pile into it (dismay, chagrin, etc.).

I do miss having to go somewhere to attend to work that must be done right then and there. But though it's hard, I'm 100% glad to be back writing at home, and I don't regret leaving health care at all. (I know I could go back to it, but when I think of it, I cringe.)
It's just that I'd hoped my powers of procrastination had magically dried up and blown away while I was gone, and that's not the case.

Oh, well. I know I'm not alone, which is kind of cheering. Procrastination is totally common, and I've only got a middling case of it, in fact, since while it feels crummy, it's never so strong that I don't eventually get rolling, and that feels great. 
I just wish I could do it with less resistance.

At least I can't stall by watching any more Sherlock, because I have now rewatched all nine episodes (in three days), and there won't be any more until next spring. (Whew.)

Sherlock is a parrot: a clever bird that becomes a menace if it's bored.

Though I'm not a Sherlock type––I'm OK being bored (or, rather, I'm not bored if I have nothing to do), I become a menace if I'm overworked––the show cheers me up because the characters are full of anxiety about work. 

And it's another love story based on work, which I enjoy. 
(It was smart of the show's creators to make John's new wife part of his (and Sherlock's) work, and not just a domestic/sex partner.)

I like how John & Sherlock sit around together a lot. Here's another sitting picture--(fuzzy 'cause I screencapped it off Netflix).

And now I am going to sit (-up straight) and stare at my proposal, and probably even grind out a line or two.


The Crow said...

One of the things I used to do (still do, sometimes) to break out of whatever blocked me from writing was to start with the final paragraph, or two. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not.

A friend who is a writer says she writes her proposals first as a letter to an anonymous, invisible friend, then goes back in after a day or two or three (never more than 3, or she's right back in the same old rut) and rewrites it.
she receives more rejections than acceptances, but she's still sending out her work.

Best wishes with writing the proposal, Fresca!

Frex said...

Thanks, Crow!
Yeah, there're all sorts of tricks to get around procrastination, but I find the underlying neurosis is very slippery (and stubborn)!

Zhoen said...

Anxiety is a real bugger.

All I know is the blog, but I know if I just write something, more tends to follow. Which is why I do haiku days, or lists. Whatever drain-o I can find to push through the clog. But, then, this is not my job.

Fresca said...

Yes, "just do it" helps me too. But that still requires an initial push to break the inertia.

I never have problems getting started blogging! :)

deanna said...

"I'm OK being bored (or, rather, I'm not bored if I have nothing to do), I become a menace if I'm overworked."

That's me, too. Right now, I want to have my church treasurer annual report finished before I leave for my NY trip in early June. But it's a slow go to break the inertia, as you also said so well.

Then I'm always wanting to write -- to work on a blog post or my memoir. But the anxiety there for me is finding the right way in, the best words and paragraphs of expression. I even stress over making blog comments. I've had to learn to attempt them sparingly; otherwise I would spend all my time seeking the most accurate responses. I guess years of solitude (with kiddos capering around me) has something to do with this. But probably it's just that my inner gears turn slowly.

I'm glad to read that you were energized this morning to push along some more. Have fun. :)