"Kisses from Catullus" bead-and-wire necklace, by Lydia Gerbig-Fast, found at Bead Arts, and chosen with Lady Penelope in mind (because of the beading).
Really, why am I bothering with boring old Virgil?
The naughty boy of Roman poets, Catullus, is so much juicier!
As Wikipedia notes re Catullus 16: "Latin is an exact language for obscene acts," and Catullus pulled out all stops, as it were, in this Rude Person poem.
I have such fond memories of a college class in which we translated Catullus out loud, line-by-line. The teacher, who was rather a dear dumpling, tried to remain cool when we got to no. 16; but when someone asked him what "pedicabo" actually meant, he blushed furiously and gave a biologically correct reply, rather than a modern-day equivalent. (An insult, in this case, something like "I want to give it to you where the sun don't shine," to be euphemistic.)
Ever after, my Latin buddy Chuck and I used to greet each other on campus by calling out "pedicabo," hoping in our juvenile way that some Classicist was wandering by...
But of course, this is exactly why I'm using Virgil instead:
I'm going for parody, and sidling up to naughtiness is much funnier than openly declaring your intentions to insert Tab A into Slot B.
["Kisses from Catullus" earrings, right, by same artist as above.]