Friday, May 16, 2008

What's Your Flavor?

Mark S. writing about what men taste like--whisky? tea-tree oil?--in "But His Best Buddy Was" [link in post below] got me thinking, What would Jim Kirk taste like?

Took me about 15 seconds to arrive at my answer:
coconut-oil suntan lotion.

Coppertone brand--the scent of childhood summers, when we slathered that stuff on with no worries about protecting ourselves from the harmful rays of the sun, much less from child porn.

(Coppertone redesigned their label, right, a few years ago, to cover the girl's butt more.)


And, she's not a man, but what about Uhura?
Mmmm...her kisses, anyway, would taste of Tang.
You know Tang? NASA sent it up with the astronauts in 1965.

We used to lick our fingers and stick them into the acid-sweet orange powder and suck it off.

Mr. Spock, on the other hand, would taste unpleasantly of copper, like a U.S. penny, from his green blood.

It's a sign of how miserable I was in high school that the Vulcan solution to emotionality--the cultivation of planet-wide Asperger's Syndrome--attracted me.
True, it was Spock's failure to achieve that fully himself that made him attractive, but I still think he'd taste like a bitter mineral.

But once in a while, he'd smell ever so faintly of coconut-oil suntan lotion.

3 comments:

ddip said...

Aaaah, you wicked thing, you! Hilarious post, right up there with the Kirk/Shelley Winters one.
(And boy oh boy, does that Tang ad look like it's from the Dark Ages rather than my very own youth. Sheesh...!)

fresca said...

I hadn't thought of that, but the two posts are of a kind, aren't they? Thanks for pointing that out. If I keep writing "ST Is Like... [this and that cultural reference]" eventually I will have a book!

Weird how our childhood artifacts become just that--artifacts of another era.
We are old, Sister! : )

Rudyinparis said...

You are hilarious. How could you possibly intuit what they would taste like, and then be so obviously correct? One of those "I have always known that, why did I not know it before" slap to the forehead.

Yikes--I'm catching up!