"Mapping Aging, On My Own"

I kept wondering, WHY do I want to make myself uncomfortable by vlogging about aging?
After three days of making lightweight 1-minute videos about aging, the answer came to me:
Because I am near the age my mother was when she took her own life. Which means, I don't have a model for this next stage of life.

Or rather, I was talking to bink about it and I said--no, wait:
I do have a model––my mother's model––and that's the problem.
It's entirely wrong for me.
I am mapping the territory for myself.

When I realized that, I grabbed my phone and went for a walk to talk about it, and then I posted it immediately on my new youtube channel, Me, Getting Older--because I WANT to share this story. I know I am not alone, that we can help one another.

DESCRIPTION: [content note: suicide]
No judgment, only love: my mother left this life when she was around the age I am now. Why am I so eager to talk about aging—and in public?
I realized 3 days after starting this project that it’s because I want to do it—I am doing it—differently than my mother. An explorer without a guide.
What does that entail?
PS. The suicide crisis line in the United States is 988.

Here it is, Mapping Aging, On My Own  (10 min.)