Books by my bed. I'm reading several of them at once, including Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by neurologist Robert Sapolsky.
This quote from Behave, BELOW, helped me understand Ass't Man, whose father was an army man--all of it, but especially this bit is helpful--children of authoritarian parents tend to grow up to be adults
"often with an undercurrent of resentment that can explode."
After a few months of us getting along well, he has again slipped into saying,
"This is the way it is. There is nothing to be done. YOU are the problem."
I don't know what to do with such a person except play by his rules (ugh), manipulate them (ugh, again--already did that), or avoid them.
So I'm avoiding him.
I've posted these photos of my parents before--they say a lot about me as an adult.
My father was something of a [Sicilian male] authoritarian, but also a nonconformist---here he is addressing an anti-Vietnam War rally in the mid-1960s.
I could have used some parenting help on how to "do the hardest thing when it is the better thing," as Sapolsky says, but I am proud of my parents' social-political selves.
And now, off to work!
Sapolski is the man, I have watched ALL of his lectures and i have his book. The brain adapts to all sorts and is damaged in the process- Hippocampus shrinks , amygdala gets too plump, causing the person to "believe" god, conspiracies, nonsense, fear based. The hippocampus can not longer process information- there are so many people traumatized by cruelty, danger, neglect in childhood that it is little wonder there are so may trumpsters in the crowd. He himself is a primary example! his childhood was shit.
ReplyDeleteAss't man wow. I used to work for someone exactly like that, I survived by saying hey no problem, to any of the insane demands, and would then do exactly what I wanted to do. In the meantime take your tinctures and maybe some Vitamin D, it's all good.
ReplyDeleteMichelle from SoCal
I have many books beside my bed also, but they are stacked in piles and all are fiction. I'm reading my way through my bookshelves deciding which to keep and which to donate.
ReplyDelete