Children of Authoritarians

Books by my bed. I'm reading several of them at once, including Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by neurologist Robert Sapolsky.

 

 

This quote from Behave, BELOW, helped me understand Ass't Man, whose father was an army man--all of it, but especially this bit is helpful--children of authoritarian parents tend to grow up to be adults
"often with an undercurrent of resentment that can explode."
After a few months of us getting along well, he has again slipped into saying,

"This is the way it is. There is nothing to be done. YOU are the problem."

I don't know what to do with such a person except play by his rules (ugh), manipulate them (ugh, again--already did that), or avoid them.
So I'm avoiding him.

I've posted these photos of my parents before--they say a lot about me as an adult.

My father was something of a [Sicilian male] authoritarian, but also a nonconformist---here he is addressing an anti-Vietnam War rally in the mid-1960s.

 

 

And my mother was a rather "permissive", low guidance/ high praise parent--and again, nonconformist---here (center, in jacket) at a gay pride parade in 1978:

 

I could have used some parenting help on how to "do the hardest thing when it is the better thing," as Sapolsky says, but I am proud of my parents' social-political selves.

And now, off to work!