Punctured.

Yesterday at work was hard. And sharp.

It was hard to clean up my desk after the looters had turned its contents over... Rummaging for valuables, I guess, they emptied drawers and the box labeled "EPHEMERA found in books".

My desk was strewn with old airplane tickets, handwritten notes, museum entrance slips, newspaper clippings, etc.

Of course I know what they did was not directed personally to me, but it is my personal workspace---

and I had just spent a couple weeks cleaning my desk!
They should have come three weeks ago, when it was a mess-- I might not have even noticed. Ha-ha-ha!

They took nothing, so far as I can see. I'd have been amused if they'd taken some books. Even pleased to have some sense of kinship: "Hey, they took that cool book."

Then, having told all my coworkers they should wear long pants and boots, I wore shorts! Because it was going to be 95º... 

I didn't cut myself as I knelt on the floor to take this photo for our FB:

I cut my leg taking out bags of trash, full of broken glass.

None of this changes my thoughts--that this uprising/looting after the cops murdered George Floyds was caused by prior injustices, and we that need structural changes, and a cohesive movement––but my emotions felt punctured like a bike tire.

And while I love some of my coworkers, I feel lonely at work.

To begin with, half of them aren't there--they are medically vulnerable to Covid. (Lung disease, old age, etc.)

Big Boss is doing everything from talking to a leftist newspaper in Hungary to organizing cleaning supplies. I don't want to burden him further.

Ass't Man graciously had already apologized for our dust up last week--he'd started it (and I had not taken the bait--something I was extra glad of when he apologized). That was nice, but I see now that he is not someone I can count on for support.

At least I don't have to take on volunteer organizing, as Big Boss had asked me to do. (OMG, that is the LAST thing I would be good at.)

I was wondering how to delegate it. The president of the church groups was in the store yesterday, and I asked if he knew anyone who could help.
"I'll do it," he said.

He's a successful business guy, (semi-retired), and I don't resonate with his Type A ways.  But those ways are perfect for this: as business guys do, he got right on it, set up an online sign-up, and started recruiting people.
This is all complicated by Covid---in another year, we'd have just invited everyone to show up. But the shifts and workers need to be spaced out.

Big Boss says God sends what you need, if you're receptive-- which is a way of saying there are resources to hand--but you have to activate them.

I came home feeling mightily put upon. I have inner reserves, I thought: Pump them up.

And outer resources too—so many friends including blog-friends have sent love and support. That matters hugely. 

This morning I feel restored to rights.
Maybe not fully inflated, but good enough to carry the weight and move forward.