I was mean to someone yesterday. (No one you'd have met on this blog.) They deserved it (sort of...).
But I was really mean. More than they deserved (probably).
I want to mention my bad behavior because I think other people are feeling the strain of living in a state of pandemic, and that strain was part of why I snapped toward this person.
I might have eventually anyway, but stress has definitely been piling up on me the past week, and that person was a convenient target.
I do want to add that this person I was mean to had been unkind to others. The few times I've felt justified being mean was when I [thought I was] defending someone else. This is quite possibly bogus, but there it is.
When I moved into this neighborhood last fall, I'd gotten talking to a neighbor out raking her yard wearing a Ravensclaw T-shirt .
I commented on the T-shirt, and she told me there are quizzes to determine which Hogwarts House you would belong to.
In the spirit of neighborliness, I took a quiz and it said I was a Hufflepuff.
I'm not into Harry Potter, but I did skim each book as it came out, and Hufflepuffs seem way too nice for me to be one. (I do like that they're a rag-tag bunch of non-specials though. The House will take anyone!)
Just now, however, I looked it up and see the badger is the totem animal for Hufflepuffs.
That seems right.
Usually I'm like this:
But very rarely I'm like this:
[I didn't make this, but I sure relate. Also, this is an American badger, the state animal of Wisconsin, where I grew up.]
Oh. Ha. I just looked up "huffelpuffs get angry"and found a (joke?) fanfic about how Hufflepuffs who feel their ideals were wronged will kill the entire family––and dog––of the person who wronged them.
Well. I wasn't THAT mean!
What's my point here?
Don't mess with a Hufflepuff during a pandemic?
If you're a Hufflepuff, don't be in pandemics?
I don't know. I just wanted to say, if you've been slightly unreasonable or a real raging jerk just lately, you are not alone.
Offering comfort such as this is a very Hufflepuffy thing to do.
Oh, no--wait!
I know what my point was.
After I was mean in the morning, I biked over and spent the afternoon in bink's backyard.
I live near the river now, and that means the way home from bink's is slightly downhill. I biked home really hard, pushing all the way.
When I got home I was all sweaty, and I felt emotionally great!
So my real point is: I haven't been careful enough to work out the stress hormones, physically. I've been going for walks, and that's helpful, but it's not the same as a good, hard workout.
I don't usually exercise (anymore), but my job is very physical, lifting and carrying all the time, and for almost a month, I've done nothing physically hard.
I need to incorporate that into my day, now we're in this free-floating emotional-marshmallow-with-hidden-sharp-bits state.
It's been snowing all day, so I'll just go for a nice, fast walk. Dog will like that.
But I was really mean. More than they deserved (probably).
I want to mention my bad behavior because I think other people are feeling the strain of living in a state of pandemic, and that strain was part of why I snapped toward this person.
I might have eventually anyway, but stress has definitely been piling up on me the past week, and that person was a convenient target.
I do want to add that this person I was mean to had been unkind to others. The few times I've felt justified being mean was when I [thought I was] defending someone else. This is quite possibly bogus, but there it is.
❦
When I moved into this neighborhood last fall, I'd gotten talking to a neighbor out raking her yard wearing a Ravensclaw T-shirt .
I commented on the T-shirt, and she told me there are quizzes to determine which Hogwarts House you would belong to.
In the spirit of neighborliness, I took a quiz and it said I was a Hufflepuff.
I'm not into Harry Potter, but I did skim each book as it came out, and Hufflepuffs seem way too nice for me to be one. (I do like that they're a rag-tag bunch of non-specials though. The House will take anyone!)
Just now, however, I looked it up and see the badger is the totem animal for Hufflepuffs.
That seems right.
"oh is that a snack?"
But very rarely I'm like this:
[I didn't make this, but I sure relate. Also, this is an American badger, the state animal of Wisconsin, where I grew up.]
Oh. Ha. I just looked up "huffelpuffs get angry"and found a (joke?) fanfic about how Hufflepuffs who feel their ideals were wronged will kill the entire family––and dog––of the person who wronged them.
Well. I wasn't THAT mean!
What's my point here?
Don't mess with a Hufflepuff during a pandemic?
If you're a Hufflepuff, don't be in pandemics?
I don't know. I just wanted to say, if you've been slightly unreasonable or a real raging jerk just lately, you are not alone.
Offering comfort such as this is a very Hufflepuffy thing to do.
Oh, no--wait!
I know what my point was.
After I was mean in the morning, I biked over and spent the afternoon in bink's backyard.
I live near the river now, and that means the way home from bink's is slightly downhill. I biked home really hard, pushing all the way.
When I got home I was all sweaty, and I felt emotionally great!
So my real point is: I haven't been careful enough to work out the stress hormones, physically. I've been going for walks, and that's helpful, but it's not the same as a good, hard workout.
I don't usually exercise (anymore), but my job is very physical, lifting and carrying all the time, and for almost a month, I've done nothing physically hard.
I need to incorporate that into my day, now we're in this free-floating emotional-marshmallow-with-hidden-sharp-bits state.
It's been snowing all day, so I'll just go for a nice, fast walk. Dog will like that.
Hi Fresca,
ReplyDeleteI think I might be a Hufflepuff too as your story sounds like me at times. I think the strain of holding back the enormity of what is going on, so it doesn't drive us completely mad, is, at times, in danger of doing just that. I have had a few grumpy moments over the last week, much more than the first two, and doing something such as a fast bike ride is probably a good idea. I walked really fast to the park the other day, then felt on the verge of collapse halfway home! I hope, if nothing else, I am getting a bit fitter at the moment!
I enjoyed your story too and the cover illustration is great!
It is a strain..and excercise is good. Xx
ReplyDeleteI just took the Buzzfeed H.P. house sorting test and got Gryffindor. So you can stop going around telling people I'm Slytherin now. ;-)
ReplyDeleteSARAH: Well, that's rather reassuring to hear, that you were a little grumpier this week than previously. Thanks! It IS a strain, all of... this.
ReplyDeleteI hope all this dog walking will keep me in some halfway decent shape too... as long as I lay off the ice-cream.
GZ: Exercise it the best thing I've found yet for managing the anxiety of these days. (Or probably any days).
BINK: OK Gryffindor! You know, I really would have thought that for you, because it's the most noble house.
I just said Slytherin because you looked so COOL social distancing in your dark sunglasses. Almost... Snape-like! (Alan Rickman, you know.)