Predicatably, I've been out of balance since starting the store's Instagram a week ago (instagram.com/svdpmpls). I've been posting 3x/day to build up a new account, and that's good.
I've also been checking-in constantly.
I am becoming annoying to myself.
The thing is, it's super fun to create content, as they say--to plan and take photos to post. It gives me permission to talk to people and play with stuff, which I love to do.
This morning I took photos of Mr Furniture (far left) and his crew as they were setting up bed frames. (You can see some of my BOOK's in the background too.)
I asked all the guys if it was OK if I used their photos, and they all said yes.
I always want to show the Store in Action/Behind the Scenes.
But besides that, my posts had been looking awfully much like Stuff White People Like (remember that blog? geez--it's been gone nine years already...), including––ha!––I posted a picture of the book White Fragility (2018, by sociologist Robin DiAngelo). It got donated yesterday, and I took it home and skimmed through it.
The most recent posts are first up. You can see that black people make an appearance after I read White Fragility.
There's a good review of White Fragility in The New Yorker. (TNY--how white can you get? :)
But, Who's Hurt Here?
I've mentioned Mr New Cashier. He's the white guy who was upset because, he told me, among other things, even though HE IS NICE TO THEM, people of color do not necessarily treat him, and I quote, "with common human decency."
I had some initial sympathy:
It is stressful to have someone o.d. in the parking lot next to your car on your second day of work. An overreaction that includes a confession of confusion about race is to be taken with a grain of salt.
But you didn't mean all those things you said, Mr Cashier, did you?
Uh-oh. Turns out, you do.
Mr Cashier's been making signs for the store (he's an illustrator).
Most are great, but last week he messaged me his latest--it showed a pair of black kids looking a little scared, and also looking like they were from the Civil Rights era, like little Ruby Bridges in Norman Rockwell's painting.
The illustration was to advertise our store's Dollar Day. (???)
"What do you think?" he wrote.
"I'm baffled," I said. "They look scared."
He pushed back. "I want them to look like our customers. I want to show it's OK to be normal and looking for a deal."
WTF????
I was bending over backwards, I know, but I wondered, could I be getting this wrong?
To check, I showed one of our coworkers, a black guy.
"Looks like they're hiding from the KKK," Mr Coworker said. He also said it was OK if I texted that feedback to Mr Cashier.
"The KKK? That's a bit extreme," Mr Cashier responded. "I'm trying not to take this personally, but I don't see that at all."
A black guy tells you that a picture you made calls into mind the KKK, and it's your feelings that are hurt?
I hadn't read the book at the time, but the term "white fragility" popped into my mind.
Mr Cashier could be a poster child.
I get it that it's frightening to talk about race. I find it frightening too.
Basically, as author Robin DiAngelo spells out, the problem is that Nice Liberal White People (I'm one!) see anything that implies they are "racist" as an accusation that they are Not Nice.
Naturally we react in self-defense.
The problem is partly the word itself:
"racism", DiAngelo points out, is a system we live in, not an individual act one chooses to do. (That would be "discrimination", or a hate crime, etc.)
I'd come to that understanding myself.
The thing is, I as a white person may get my feelings hurt, but I AM NOT THE VICTIM HERE.
I saw the fear in the children Mr Casheir drew. I thought he was insensitive and was way off base, but the children's fear did not trigger my fear, the way it obviously triggered my coworker's fear (and anger!).
So, upon reflection, I felt a little "bad" (a little bit white-guilty) that I'd featured Donna Parkeron on Instagram before any of my coworkers, most of whom are people of color.
Feel bad about something you've done, or not done, to other people?
I'd say, get over yourself and do something else, if you can.
So I did.
I, you, we, whoever we are, get to like what we like.
My most recent post is a book illustrated by Edward Gorey. He's gotta be some stuff white people like. It's not on that blog, but Where the Wild Things Are is, which is pretty close.
Good stuff!
I've also been checking-in constantly.
I am becoming annoying to myself.
The thing is, it's super fun to create content, as they say--to plan and take photos to post. It gives me permission to talk to people and play with stuff, which I love to do.
This morning I took photos of Mr Furniture (far left) and his crew as they were setting up bed frames. (You can see some of my BOOK's in the background too.)
I asked all the guys if it was OK if I used their photos, and they all said yes.
I always want to show the Store in Action/Behind the Scenes.
But besides that, my posts had been looking awfully much like Stuff White People Like (remember that blog? geez--it's been gone nine years already...), including––ha!––I posted a picture of the book White Fragility (2018, by sociologist Robin DiAngelo). It got donated yesterday, and I took it home and skimmed through it.
The most recent posts are first up. You can see that black people make an appearance after I read White Fragility.
There's a good review of White Fragility in The New Yorker. (TNY--how white can you get? :)
But, Who's Hurt Here?
I've mentioned Mr New Cashier. He's the white guy who was upset because, he told me, among other things, even though HE IS NICE TO THEM, people of color do not necessarily treat him, and I quote, "with common human decency."
I had some initial sympathy:
It is stressful to have someone o.d. in the parking lot next to your car on your second day of work. An overreaction that includes a confession of confusion about race is to be taken with a grain of salt.
But you didn't mean all those things you said, Mr Cashier, did you?
Uh-oh. Turns out, you do.
Mr Cashier's been making signs for the store (he's an illustrator).
Most are great, but last week he messaged me his latest--it showed a pair of black kids looking a little scared, and also looking like they were from the Civil Rights era, like little Ruby Bridges in Norman Rockwell's painting.
The illustration was to advertise our store's Dollar Day. (???)
"What do you think?" he wrote.
"I'm baffled," I said. "They look scared."
He pushed back. "I want them to look like our customers. I want to show it's OK to be normal and looking for a deal."
WTF????
I was bending over backwards, I know, but I wondered, could I be getting this wrong?
To check, I showed one of our coworkers, a black guy.
"Looks like they're hiding from the KKK," Mr Coworker said. He also said it was OK if I texted that feedback to Mr Cashier.
"The KKK? That's a bit extreme," Mr Cashier responded. "I'm trying not to take this personally, but I don't see that at all."
A black guy tells you that a picture you made calls into mind the KKK, and it's your feelings that are hurt?
I hadn't read the book at the time, but the term "white fragility" popped into my mind.
Mr Cashier could be a poster child.
I get it that it's frightening to talk about race. I find it frightening too.
Basically, as author Robin DiAngelo spells out, the problem is that Nice Liberal White People (I'm one!) see anything that implies they are "racist" as an accusation that they are Not Nice.
Naturally we react in self-defense.
The problem is partly the word itself:
"racism", DiAngelo points out, is a system we live in, not an individual act one chooses to do. (That would be "discrimination", or a hate crime, etc.)
I'd come to that understanding myself.
The thing is, I as a white person may get my feelings hurt, but I AM NOT THE VICTIM HERE.
I saw the fear in the children Mr Casheir drew. I thought he was insensitive and was way off base, but the children's fear did not trigger my fear, the way it obviously triggered my coworker's fear (and anger!).
So, upon reflection, I felt a little "bad" (a little bit white-guilty) that I'd featured Donna Parkeron on Instagram before any of my coworkers, most of whom are people of color.
Feel bad about something you've done, or not done, to other people?
I'd say, get over yourself and do something else, if you can.
So I did.
I, you, we, whoever we are, get to like what we like.
My most recent post is a book illustrated by Edward Gorey. He's gotta be some stuff white people like. It's not on that blog, but Where the Wild Things Are is, which is pretty close.
Good stuff!
I think that Donna Parker cover is fantastic, for what it's worth. :)
ReplyDeleteBut I know what you mean. I can understand the artist being hurt, but you'd think he'd also realize that the greater hurt belongs to the people who are bothered by his painting. (And maybe he'd then be open to making a new painting!)