I've said many times here that I don't like committees.
(Well, who does?)
I had reservations about accepting Big Boss's request that I be on the new store committee three months ago. Sure enough, the first meeting was bad enough I decided to quit.
I talked myself out of it. Maybe I was being too sensitive?
Just because Big Boss makes unilateral declarations, with no discussion, doesn't mean it's going to be a pointless committee, right?
And I'm not going to see BB at his worst and start to dislike him, am I?
Wrong. I am––I have.
I won't go into everything wrong in the third meeting, a few days ago, just that fundraising came up (Nooooooo!), and the Invisible Development Director (hardly anyone has even met her), who gets paid more than the executive director,
. . . and I ended up yelling, What the hell does she DO?
I was told, as if I were a child, that she has raised $50,000 in a year.
Yes, I know that. That's why I was yelling.
I snorted. "Does that even cover her salary?"
Silence. "We have some concerns about that."
But the board just signed her on for another six months.
Hey! I know that one! It's the Sunk Cost cognitive bias, otherwise known as throwing good money after bad.
There's nothing I can do except note it in the minutes: "The emperor has no clothes."
This is the worst committee I have ever been on.
So yesterday I sent Big Boss a friendly email resigning from the committee, just saying I'd help the store most by playing to my strengths: caring for books and customers.
I figured Big Boss still wanted me on the committee--who'd take the minutes if not me? but I also figured he'd see reason.
But, no.
He emailed back that he disagrees, that he believes my discomfort is from God pushing me out of my comfort zone, and it's God's will I stay on the committee.
My discomfort is from GOD?!?!
I'm like, is it even legal to say this BS to me?
Telling someone you know God's will for them, which just happens to coincide with your will for them, is some nasty, creepy mind game.
The more I think about it, the more I feel slimed.
Hm. Maybe I could react like wild & wacky scientist Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon, below, far right, in Ghostbusters). After all, going into this workplace, I did say I was going to consider it a spiritual laboratory...
Big Boss is on vacation next week, so I can ponder what I'm going to do. Certainly any tiny, lingering doubt about my decision to quit the committee is gone--I'm just not sure how to best convey that.
No. Actually, I am.
I'm not going to discuss it with him. I'm disappointed in him, and I don't trust him anymore.
I'm just going to say, I'm sticking with my decision.
(Well, who does?)
I had reservations about accepting Big Boss's request that I be on the new store committee three months ago. Sure enough, the first meeting was bad enough I decided to quit.
I talked myself out of it. Maybe I was being too sensitive?
Just because Big Boss makes unilateral declarations, with no discussion, doesn't mean it's going to be a pointless committee, right?
And I'm not going to see BB at his worst and start to dislike him, am I?
Wrong. I am––I have.
I won't go into everything wrong in the third meeting, a few days ago, just that fundraising came up (Nooooooo!), and the Invisible Development Director (hardly anyone has even met her), who gets paid more than the executive director,
. . . and I ended up yelling, What the hell does she DO?
I was told, as if I were a child, that she has raised $50,000 in a year.
Yes, I know that. That's why I was yelling.
I snorted. "Does that even cover her salary?"
Silence. "We have some concerns about that."
But the board just signed her on for another six months.
Hey! I know that one! It's the Sunk Cost cognitive bias, otherwise known as throwing good money after bad.
There's nothing I can do except note it in the minutes: "The emperor has no clothes."
This is the worst committee I have ever been on.
So yesterday I sent Big Boss a friendly email resigning from the committee, just saying I'd help the store most by playing to my strengths: caring for books and customers.
I figured Big Boss still wanted me on the committee--who'd take the minutes if not me? but I also figured he'd see reason.
But, no.
He emailed back that he disagrees, that he believes my discomfort is from God pushing me out of my comfort zone, and it's God's will I stay on the committee.
My discomfort is from GOD?!?!
I'm like, is it even legal to say this BS to me?
Telling someone you know God's will for them, which just happens to coincide with your will for them, is some nasty, creepy mind game.
The more I think about it, the more I feel slimed.
Hm. Maybe I could react like wild & wacky scientist Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon, below, far right, in Ghostbusters). After all, going into this workplace, I did say I was going to consider it a spiritual laboratory...
No. Actually, I am.
I'm not going to discuss it with him. I'm disappointed in him, and I don't trust him anymore.
I'm just going to say, I'm sticking with my decision.
Wow! So wrong on so many levels. Insisting people stay on a committee and bringing in the whole comfort zone level thing.
ReplyDeleteGood on you for raising the question of how much had been raised. And only $50,000 in a year. I somehow think those at the top are actually embarrassed at how they were "taken" by the claims. I can guarantee that there were claims about how much money would be raised. And yes, definitely throwing good money after bad.
Unfortunately in this day and age, there seems to be little interest in helping our unfortunate neighbors. Not to say that it was totally great in past days but I think we were a much more caring nation.
Can always just go to the meetings and take notes especially ones for oneself that can be used to point the light on such bad behaviour. Possibly even fodder that a fiction book......
Kirsten
Hmmm, while this has been put through the God filter, he may, if present at the meetings, be very happy to have you saying things he’s not willing to say himself. Not that this should or shouldn’t affect your decision, but sounds like you made a pretty good point:
ReplyDeletepoint.
ReplyDeleteArtSparker --you said it much better than I!
ReplyDeleteKirsten
KIRSTEN: Thanks for validating that about the Development Director.
ReplyDeleteAfter the meeting, I said to a board member who is generally sympathetic, "We got scammed."
She was (naturally) somewhat defensive. She explained the DD had told them this, that, and the other in the interview.
"And you only interviewed one person?" I asked.
She admitted this was the case.
OMG.
Big Boss got defensive, too, when I said that paying the workers a living wage is low-priority.
He raised (is raising) five kids on his paltry salary.
"It's not low priority to me!" he said.
I did NOT say, but I thought--it doesn't matter if you care a lot about it if you FAIL to make it happen.
I do see a lot of people caring and trying, but this is the MOST inept place I have ever worked.
But, as I keep saying, that's why I can do what I want there---and lucky for the store, I'm not a scammer.
SPARKER: Yes, Big Boss is at the meetings--he appointed himself perpetual chair. [I asked, but there was no discussion of this.]
I told him the Co-Executive Director (his title) shouldn't even be on a committee like this--it's not worth his time, and it stops free discussion. Rather, we should report to him...
There's actually protocol for all this, but no one knows or cares.
You make a good point:
I do think that it is sometimes the case that BB likes that I say what he won't.
He's oddly passive ("God will provide"), when he's not hardline ("That's not up for discussion")
I'd say he doesn't know how to handle power... Not that that's unusual!
I do believe he wants me there--hence saying God does.
But I don't!
P.S. NOT to say I know how to handle power! I don't! And I don't particularly want to learn--I mean, it's not top priority for the last third of my life (fingers crossed I have another third?!?!?).
ReplyDeleteI can’t imagine why anyone would like committee meetings, but I know from my academic career that some people do. They seem to travel from one meeting to another with coffee cups and bulging planners. I suspect that such people spend more time on committees than on teaching or so-called scholarly activity.
ReplyDeleteI always thought of a committee meeting as an hour or two of life I would never get back. But I’ll add that as a committee chair, I ran the most congenial and efficient meetings I ever attended. :)
By the way, the comments about meeting-goers describe not department colleagues but people elsewhere.
MICHAEL: Ah, yes, the Committee Lovers! I forget they exist.
ReplyDeleteIt must be a type...
Each committee meeting is not only an hour of life I won't get back, but it's MORE because I fret about it afterward too: MORE LIFE LOST!
Aaargh.
I can well imagine you chaired congenial, efficient meetings. Ours are friendly enough, but efficient?
Not.