Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Commence, Again

I.  Toy School Photo

The toys, most of them, have gathered this morning, one week after my father's death. I had thought it might be a memorial, but they are not interested in death: 
they decided it was a school photo, like at the beginning of the school year.
(I don't know how the toys know things--it's very selective.)

I'm ready and wanting to get on with the Stuffed Needy Animal Rescue Project (SNARP), repairing and clothing them. Some aren't even re-stuffed yet. Tan bear with black ears (third from left, back row), has no stuffing at all. 

scroll right, for full photo > > >

II. Repair
I want to say clearly that I'm sorry my father has died.
Until a few months ago, when liver cancer started to take him down, he was in robust good health for a man in his eighties, and he would have relished another six healthy years, like his sister, my auntie, who turns 92 next month. 
I wish he'd had them.

But here's a thing I hadn't expected:
My relationship with my father has vastly improved, now that he's dead.

I liked many things about my father. 
But all my life, I couldn't trust he'd be nice to me or to other people. When I was little, I never wanted to invite friends over. He might be very nice. Or he might not.

I never have to worry about that again.


Bink said...

So many sweeties...

Fresca said...

Yes! When they're cleaned up, I think some of the many sweeties may go live with other people. <3

Laura B said...

So these are what he had in his closet??? If yes, In a way, they've been liberated from the closet.

Fresca said...

no, these are all MY toys!
the ones in my father's closet were infested with mold--and mildew--
i didn't even try to save them.

ArtSparker said...

Oh I so hear you - I have been remembering my father when he was young and all of us were little, which is a pleasure, unlike remembering him in his frequently unhappy decline.