Friday, August 19, 2016

working writing timing

Yay! That idea of "just write for half-an-hour" got me to open my ms folder yesterday, and I wrote well all afternoon. 
I knew I probably wouldn't stop at half-an-hour, but it helps me get started if I give myself permission to stop if I want.
Starting is the hurdle.

Yay! again: Today the publisher sent me the final contract to sign.
Earlier this week, after I'd thought we agreed on all points, there'd been a snag.

I thought about just accepting it, to avoid any further unpleasantness, but decided to act as if it could be easily resolved.

I wrote saying, "Hey, let's change X to Y."

They wrote back, "OK, no problem."

Wow. That was easy.

I've had more conflict than usual for me in the last couple years, and I think it's because I've spoken up about things I don't like rather than slinking away.
And because I've spent most of my life not speaking up, it's become clear I'm not very good at it.

It's like slapstick: timing and position is crucial. Get it wrong and either you don't connect or you hit too hard.
It takes practice, and training would've been nice. ("Just be nice" doesn't cut it.)

When I've spoken up, mostly I've waited too long, and then I've hit too hard. 
Like at the Thrift Store---by the time I took action, I was pretty irretrievably pissed off, and I actually yelled at the manager for being a jerk. 
I'm ashamed of that, acting like my father.
If someone's making you that angry (and I do think the manager was a jerk), walk away. 

But I was loaded for bear--I didn't want to walk away.

The store and I'd have parted company anyway, I expect, but if I'd spoken up earlier, I'd not have ripped out of there in a rage.

Ah well. 

I've gotten a little better at speaking up in good time. At any rate, this last contract negotiation went well. I'm putting that in my data bank for future reference.

Yay for me!


ArtSparker said...

I can so relate to not speaking up until one is no longer able to use one's inside voice to do so.

Frex said...

Hey, ArtSparker,
Thanks for speaking up here! I am late responding:
I see comments in my email and then sometimes forget to go back to the post to reply.
Anyway, yes, you got it: "no longer able to use one's inside voice".