Saturday, April 11, 2015


One of my [almost former] coworkers has said she wants my hours in Activities, so I don't have to go in next week.

In other words, I AM DONE with that job.

I'm hugely relieved, but I also feel knocked off my feet.

For 6 months I've been working face-to-face with people and thinking all the time about how to engage them, since their brains couldn't flip the "on" switch themselves anymore.

What now? 

Well, I've got the book––good, meaningful, interesting work; 
 bink, Marz, Laura and other friends; blogging; sewing notions; the Thrift Store; looking into volunteering at the nonprofit senior center... Also, rewatching Star Trek again!

I know I'll be fine, but I can tell I'm off balance because I spent all of this Saturday morning futzing, culling and condensing this blog's index. 
Probably pointless, but it gives me a sense of emotional security.

I never completed the blog-move to WordPress once Google said they wouldn't, after all, censor naughty blogs. 
It was going to be a lot of work to move, but also, clicking on various index entries, I'm reminded of how deeply and broadly I am rooted here.

(Like, remember Aretha's hat? )

I'd move if I have to, but I love being here on my home ground.


The Crow said...

I think you might be un-readjusting. Seems to me you had to do a lot of readjusting of your fine, compassionate standards and mind-set in order to try to do your job as it was expected of you. Now that that's over, perhaps the readjustment is getting back to those standards.

Like when a brutal relationship comes to an end and you have to get rid of all the coping mechanisms you dealt with in order to stay in that relationship. Part of you just can't believe the dysfunctional crap is happening until it reaches overload and you decide to end it, once and for all. But your brain, that wonderfully plastic, rewiring-itself-all-the-time device, now has to sort through and delete all the crap files to get back to its default settings - a bit disorienting and time-consuming, so it looks for something else to do while the file clean-up is taking place.

Sort of like my brain does when I go play Spider Solitaire while waiting for the security scan to finish looking for viruses and other destructive stuff.

(When I started writing this it made more sense, but I'm letting it stand, anyway - maybe the message I intended will come through anyway.)

Loved Aretha's hat - first I knew about it!

Zhoen said...

What Crow said, perfectly.

I think everyone's story is interesting, yours in particular because you write it so well. Glad you don't have to do that working through the notice week.