Saturday, January 24, 2015

I Am Not a Camera

 Plans and dreams and schemes can be like clothes in a closet: 
if they don't fit or you don't like them anymore, maybe they're just a waste of space.
This week I gave away my high-end video camera, tripod, and microphones I'd so carefully researched and bought two years ago when I was going to start a videography business (and maybe make more personal films too). 

I realized business wasn't for me, and, further, I'd never liked the audio-visual part of film making. I never used the equipment.

I've been keeping it around though, like keeping clothes that'd fit if I lost a few pounds.
(Does this ever work?)

Maybe if you have lots of closets it doesn't matter, but in my case, the camera stuff took up precious space.

I'm relieved it's gone. Looking at the empty shelf, I realize the camera was taking up psychic space too, expensive and good equipment that should be put to use, niggling at me, suggesting failure.

It was a failure––as a business idea, anyway––but I don't know that any effort is very often entirely wasted. I've lived long enough to  salvage bits and pieces of my past failures, often and unexpectedly. Their usefulness has surprised me; it's as if my efforts were, unknown to the younger me, preparation for what I'd need years later. 

That's looking through the wrong end of the telescope, of course. 
It's more the case that I do things I'm already equipped for, even if the mental equipment is leftover from failure.

And the physical equipment--in this case--good riddance! I'm happy someone else can use it.


Fresca said...

P.S. Not to be too Pollyanna-ish:
maybe something can be salvaged from many failures, but some failures return mere pennies on the dollar.

Julia said...

I'm so glad that you were able to make that decision; it sounds freeing, and it's fun to imagine the creative growth that might come for the next person down the line.

Zhoen said...

I began to realize that doing massage meant running a business, which was not happening. Still have the massage chair, it's very comfy, and I do give a good back rub.

Glad your good gear got a home.

ArtSparker said...

Thank you for "Orestes and the Fly" in any case - I think it was my introduction. I know what you mean about making space, I have been doing a ten-year Spring cleaning here, and it feels like having a superpower.

Heh, be grateful that your interest wasn't in making mosaics...really LARGE mosaics.

And finally, all failures not resulting in death or injury, can be viewed as qualified successes. JMO.

Fresca said...

ZHOEN: I think there's a Myer Briggs type for us non-business-starters. :)

ARTSPARKER: Oh, I'm so pleased you remember my Orestes! Thank you, you're welcome.

One reason I've like camera arts, book making, and writing on computer is I have always lived in tiny apts. in a cold climate.
Large mosaics were never an option!

"Qualified successes"? Yeah, I like that!