Monday, August 18, 2014

"Bonk! Bonk! On the head!"

William Shatner fell on my head last night.
As Marz was opening the screen door to escort a moth outside, she knocked into this framed photo >
of her with Bill at the Las Vegas Star Trek con '09, and it fell on me sitting below.

Last week was hard like that.

Three nights ago, a man was murdered next door (not the tenant). I've been e-mailing the absentee landlord all summer, saying I'm concerned about the verbal fights in the yard next door and annoyed by the noise. 

Sometimes the neighbor and his visitors just had a nice time, hanging out and playing dominoes, listening to Al Green on low-volume. But often, even a relaxed evening involved a heated argument.
I actually spoke and wrote these words: thankgod no one has a gun. 

Then, someone did. 

The murderer is under arrest. I don't feel unsafe and never did, in fact, just disturbed:  it's awful to see this neighbor and his visitors––all black, poor, in later middle-age–– seemingly trapped in a bad situation and hand-cranking the trap tighter and tighter.  

Then Marz and I have been having good but hard talks all week about whether or not it's time for her to move out. 
She moved here 3 years ago, just barely out of her teens. The original idea was, she'd stay with me until she found a place of her own. Living together went so well, though, that we decided to keep doing it, and eventually the landlord knocked out a wall so she could have her own little room. 

She's grown up a lot now. 
Is it time for her to leave the nest? 
After much back and forth, we've decided not, for now. We will instead try to shift more from being parent-child friends to being more like roommate friends.  
I'm glad: I trust it's a wise and good decision, but it was hard to reach. To help us shift the relationship, I think there will be some "therappy" as Zhoen calls it. [Zhoen explains therappy is from Terry Pratchett and involves hope and "prevention of moping". Just the ticket]

In the midst of all this, Robin Williams committed suicide. 
Marz has loved him since her childhood, so this hit her hard. 
I've increasingly found his work to have a feel of "I'm teetering on the edge of a vat of acid", however, so I mostly stayed away, but any suicide always calls up my memory of my mother taking her own life. 
Like the murder next door, it's a shocking reminder of how much pain people carry and perpetuate. 

Could we do this "being human" thing better? 
What might help? This is what I'm thinking about.

Some good news: 
1. I painted the deck with sealant the day before it started to rain, and rain is forecast all week. We need it badly, and I was happy to see the water bounce off the wood boards.

2. I have an informational interview with an activities director of a senior center tomorrow.

3. I began P.T. for my creaky knees. I need to build strength and flexibility to restore proper alignment. This will remove the pressure and grinding on my joints.

That's what I want in my life in general––
I know there're always going to be stresses and strains: I want to build and maintain strength and flexibility and good alignment so I can stand them.

P.S."Bonk! Bonk! On the head!" is a line from the Star Trek episode "Miri."


Michael Leddy said...

Someone I read put this online today: “If life weren’t so sad, it wouldn’t be life.” Yes, and so thank goodness for good news.

Now the word verification is camiocam.

Zhoen said...

I also found Williams to be a hair more fraught than funny, especially as I got older. A close run thing, really. Liked him in small doses, and in The Fisher King.

I got that spelling from Pratchett, which helps avoid bots too.

A murder, oh. Worrisome. Even if not personally threatening, disturbing.

Fresca said...

MICHAEL: Ah, and today there is more sadness in your life, I am sorry to hear.
May there be good news alongside as well, in its fitting time.

ZHOEN: Thanks for explaining the spelling--fun! I added a link.

Yes, disturbing stuff... best in small doses (or in the case of murder, none at all, please).

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