Me and U

“Be who you needed when you need it most.”

--Sign, below, with stuffies 

Restaurants and shops emptied out of the Uptown after George Floyd’s death.
McDonalds is one of the few remaining businesses on what was a swank strip. On the corner is a library. Also--a block away, Magers & Quinn, an indie BOOKSTORE. Yay, libraries & bookstores!

I stopped my bike to photograph this scene, above, and the young woman signing on the corner came over. 

“I love your toys,” I said. “Here’s ten dollars to buy them candy. Do they like candy?”

She was pretty blank (she looked exhausted), but she said thanks, yes they do.

“Do people give you these?”

I meant the stuffed animals, but she reached behind them and pulled out a bag of candy. Sour gummy worms.

“Sometimes.”

I wasn’t who she needed most, of course. (“I am not the savior.”) But I was not entirely not, either. And she was a touch of what I needed, by showing me the candy and the toys.

There are different philosophies about how to help people most effectively. I don’t see it for myself in terms of effectiveness…

For me, I'd say that the question isn’t so much “How to help people?” 

but rather,  “How to BE a person”.

If you want to be an effective philanthropist, you research and invest in schemes to do the most good for your buck. And that’s good!

If you want to be a human among human beings, that’s a little different. Giving ten bucks or a sandwich to someone desperate is as effective as dripping water onto a desert of hot sand.
Poof! It’s gone, seemingly wasted.

But the ecology of a human being doesn’t work quite like that, right? We’re not mathematical equations or corporate entities. Something else is exchanged when you give someone a sandwich or when you yourself receive charity (unnecessary kindness).

If you're looking for signs of your own effectiveness, and returns on your investment of energy, better to invest in malaria nets.
(Of course a person can do both. It's not either/or.)

It's not a person living on the street who I find it hardest to see, it's people like that volunteer Rob I mentioned last week--the rich, the complacent, the do-gooder. He raises money for effective charities. No doubt his work saves lives.

I talked to him again this week, trying to see that humanity, but for me, his is as shielded as a beetle. Or maybe there's nothing underneath his shields of religious platitudes? Maybe that's him. Someone who does good deeds for The Poor. (I hate that phrase, "the poor", like they're not us, they're A Specimen.)

Boy do I struggle with Rob in my mind. He told me that that evening, he and his wife were going out to a certain restaurant for their wedding anniversary.
I looked up that restaurant's menu--their ribeye steak is $58.

Ha-ha, yeah--I am looking for evidence against him!

I'll be honest. I do not like him.
If I had to accept charity from him, it would feel like an insult, not love.

I don't have to like someone to see our common humanity, but I can't see through this guy's shiny carapace.
I am laughing as I write this, but it is the truth.

Verdict:
Try again. What is a candy or a toy for him?

But I'm not going to try forever. Some people, you're never going to see or be seen by them.
It's okay--walk on. There's someone on the next corner who is what you need or who needs who you are.