"It's not that important." (What Helps?)

I asked Supershopper Louisde, an older Black coworker, how she maintains her emotional cool.

I have witnessed her being insulted or dismissed by others, and I can literally see her right herself from the blow (she sort of pulls back and gathers herself together, physically) and then respond by saying, "Okay then."
I've never seen her argue or be mean.

She can be quite irritating in her own way (unfortunately),
but I see her as dignified, and I admire her.

Conversely, we have a wealthy volunteer, a white man my age, who goes around the place almost shrieking in complaint about a million little things. There are a million little things wrong--he's right.
But he's like a Howler--the screaching, exploding missives in Harry Potter. Not helpful. Not admirable.

The times he is effective is when he FIXES something. He'll actually get out an electric drill and put up a hook where there needs to be, for instance. That helps.

When I asked that first coworker how she keeps her cool, she told me,
"I think to myself, It's not that important."

Coming from someone who survived growing up in Mississippi in the 1950-60s, that carries extra weight with me.

I thought, Okay, I'll just try that then.

_______________

Another thing that helps: a little frivolity.

Here's Ass't Man leading a coworker's grandchildren in a "Waddle Like a Duck" troop through my BOOK'S section:

P.S. I'd asked Mr Furniture how he keeps his cool too, four+ years ago when I first started.

"Look at my eyes, San Francisco," he'd said. "If I'm here, I'm high."

LOL. It was helpful to know he also felt the stress and takes steps to alleviate it, but his way is not my way. (I don't like the stuff.)