bink e-mailed me this comment on my post of me trying out the phrase, "I am in love with life".
bink wrote:
I often wish I could add photo comments to your blog--the way you can on FB.
I want to say, if any little person ever loved life, I image it was this little person (before her little heart got bruised). I think you must have been the most joyful and life-affirming child imaginable! xoxoxo
And she attached this photo of me at age... around twoish? (Not sure.)
I do think it captures what I'm like, then and still now.
Thank you, bink!
River commented: "I'm not sure it is the same as being in love with life, but I do love being alive. "
Interesting--it's not the same, is it--it's easier for me, anwyay, to say "I love being alive" without grimacing.
Which is why I'm sticking to trying to say, I am in love with life.
NOT (not!) because I'm trying to trick myself into being affirmative (ugh), but because I want to play around with my discomfort to it--what is it?
I think saying I am in love with life feels like dropping my shields (like the ship on Star Trek, the Enterprise--nothing good happens when it drops its shields).
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I passed 950,000 views yesterday--had hoped to catch it right as the stats counter ticked over, but of course I missed it.
Still.
Maybe LIFE is in love with life, whether or not we are.
In the books by Martha Wells I've been so taken with, the character Murderbot would never say it's in love with life, and yet it rescues itself so it can lead its own life.
I continue to look for people who could be Murderbot, the no-gender non-specific race AI organic (human)/inorganic (machine) construct.
Actors look too perfect. Even if they're not traditionally attractive, they're photographed in that light.
I'm looking for real people instead, doing physical stuff (Murderbot is designed to provide security, so it has extra-human capabilities).
How great is this:
Skateboarders who don't identify as male (non-binary or female), photographed by Jordana Bermúdez.
Below, L-R:
Miracle Jimenez, Allie Rappuhn, and Sarah Seafoss
Also this 1:32 min. video about a female skateboarding crew ("primarily Latina, Indigenous, and Black women"), from the NYT: "Brujas of the Bronx" (201.
Still from the video:
Here, a rodeo contestant (no name given) from a photo essay on queer rodeo, National Anthem by photographer Luke Gilford: www.damianieditore.com/en-US/product/786
I can definitely see that rodeo rider or the bruised skateboarder as Murderbot. Strong! And the rodeo rider has almost AI penetrating eyes.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about how my little self was also very much in love with life. Too bad our little darling selves that were so in love with life got squashed at tender ages.
Don't know your story but you were one hella dear, cute baby girl! That has not changed!
ReplyDeleteI love that picture. You look so intent on your drawing.
ReplyDeleteThere is a girl at nursery who has a twin brother with autism and sometimes it must be hard for her as he gets lots of attention, and I sometimes think she feels that. She never complains but she does this thing where she 'falls' down, and wants help to get up. I used to go over and 'rescue' her, pretending to be an ambulance or something, but then I changed what I did and said that she should rescue herself and stand up and she will be fine. She gets the attention but I also feel that it may help her to realise that she is a strong person. Your part about the murderbot made me think of her. Rescuing ourselves is a very important skill.
BINK: Yes, Murderbot talks about putting on its "neutral bot" face, but it also says people are always terrified of it, so I imagine the "neutral" is not exactly warm & friendly.
ReplyDeleteLINDA SUE: Oh, my story is much like other humans'--you know, a splash of this kind of trauma and a dash of that kind of ongoing instability...
I'll take it that I'm still hella cute! THANK YOU!
SARAH: OOoooh! I LOVE how you helped that little girl rescue herself---but that first you did play the rescuer yourself too.
"Rescuing ourselves is a very important skill."
Yes, yes, yes!!!