Proud of Nothing

Be Proud of Nothing!

Last Wednesday was an unseasonably warm 52º, and sunny. bink, Maura, and I went to our friend A's annual Christmas party for us--in her backyard:

This morning, it is 13º.
Probably in a non-Covid year I would bus to work, but I'm happy, actually, to be forced to bundle up and bike, which is what is best for me.
(Still, I'm glad the forecast is above 20º for the next ten days.)

I feel better in every way if I bike to and from work:
it's only 2.5 miles, about a 15 minute ride, but that's enough to clear my brain and get my heart going a bit.

Also biking also makes me feel a bit proud of myself, which is helpful in a time when daily life feels reduced.
It's hard to feel proud for NOT doing things. Though we should be proud of that during a pandemic, we aren't wired for being chuffed about being inactive.

One Good Thing

Sister wrote an essay in response to the NYTimes call for readers to write 200 words on "One Good Thing About 2020" (no politics).

She wrote about the return of letter writing.
I had taken up the Women's Prison Book Project's invitation to write holiday letters to women in prison. The WPBP provided each volunteer with 15 stamped, addressed envelopes. 

They suggested you keep it chatty and upbeat.
I wrote about how far away I am (all the women were in Texas prisons, 1,000+ miles away), the weather, and how on this cold day I was cooking applesauce with cinnamon.

Even writing piffle, fifteen letters is a lot, so when sister came by to pick up some yarn our auntie had spun, I asked her if she wanted to take some envelopes.
She was happy to.
The project turned up in her essay, along with letters from Marz on the goat farm, and others around the country.

I had thought I'd write more letters this year, but I haven't--except to Marz because she was off the grid.
Blogging takes most of my chit-chat writing juice--I'm already so chatty on here. If I'm going to write anything else, (as I always say I want to but rarely do), it's things like a sonnet about lichen.

But really, most of my creative energy goes to toy photography.

I didn't write it up, but  my One Good Thing is the obvious Triumph of Science: It Glows in the Dark.

I imagine all the children thinking, "I wonder how this works? I wonder what would happen if I turned it sideways?" and how some of those children never stopped asking stuff like that, . . . and now we have genetic sequencing, which made a speedy vaccine possible. To think how long humanity had to live in fear of viruses like polio and measles, while we have a Covid-19 vaccine in a year.
It may not be perfect, but bygod, it's amazing!

Speaking of science,
I am feeling a bit more energetic these days, since having a longtime (years!), low-grade infected molar pulled.
Almost four weeks ago, I had to have it taken out. What an ordeal--it took TWO hours! (The dental staff were practically in hazmat suits.)

Recovery took a while, but now I feel better in my entire body. Constantly fighting off bacteria in one's head must be an energy drain.

Work is being hard, sad to say.
The Wild West, laissez-faire (do what you want) management style that I have always complained about-- and also benefited from --has lost its charm.

"Do what you want" means staff don't have to wear masks properly.
It also means I don't have to work around them if I don't feel safe, but that's ridiculous trade off:
they lose a worker, I lose pay. They don't seem to care.

A pal just got a job at the U--an unexciting office job, but it pays six bucks more per hour than I make, plus benefits.
This encourages me to think again about looking for a new job.

[deleted stuff about sexism at work--helpful to write out--thanks for your feedback--in general my policy is not to leave up stuff about work...]

I've started looking at online job postings.
I don't know. I don't want to leave too soon a place that is good for me, or, where I can DO good.
I think I should wait until after Covid---unless I see a job opening that truly appeals to me. 

No workplace is perfect, but I could be suffering for $18/hour instead of $12/hour.

Here,  Golda is spinning the dreidel:
"Should I stay or should I go?"

That's Mr. Spock's "shin"--not sure how to interpret it...
"Be logical, not emotional", perhaps.