"Free and Generous Eyes"

"With what kind of human beings do we want to surround ourselves for our own flourishing?
If we want to live among equals with strength and candor, among people with, as Euripedes says, 'free and generous eyes,' the understanding of trauma can form a solid basis for a science of human rights."

-- Achilles in Vietnam: Combat Trauma and the Undoing of Character, Jonathan Shay (1994)

Reading Achilles in Vietnam reminded me of some of my frustrations at work:
frustrations that come from coworkers' beliefs that "there's nothing we can do" and "it's all rigged against us".
These hamstring the store's ability to make changes, to try to solve problems---even basic efforts to make sure we have enough supplies on hand (and good ones too).

I've thought before that those attitudes and approaches come from being a child in danger--in danger from poverty, violence, treachery, and any of the --isms (sex, race, religion).
You learn to live with lack and helplessness and distrust and fear and ignorance.

A lot of the traumas of the soldier in Vietnam are like the traumas of everyday life too. Often the difference is in intensity, not type of trauma.

Betrayal of trust by power-holders and experience of personal powerlessness leads to --obviously--lack of trust and disinclination to make an effort to change things. (Like the "learned helplessness" of animals in experiments they cannot escape--they just stop trying.)

Even if the consequence of betrayal seems small (like when I realized my father would make up plausible answers rather than admit he didn't know the answer), that still rocks your world.

Some of my coworkers think everything (especially in government) is rigged--and always against them. Elections, public health (vaccines, COVID), taxes, everything.
And because plenty of things are indeed rigged against poor, powerless people, it's not hard for them to find justification for their beliefs.

They don't trust any of it, and often they don't participate. From voting in elections to holding store meetings--these things are seen as useless.

I related personally to some of the traumas in Achilles in Vietnam too. I grew up with a sometimes suicidally depressed mother. While my family had the security of money and status (my father was a political-science professor), emotionally I was always on shifting sands. In an emotional sense, loving and being attuned to my depressed mother was like walking a trail I knew was booby-trapped with emotional mines and trip-wires.

I think this is why I feel comfortable at work--despite my many frustrations!––and why I don't feel comfortable with people who think life is good and fair for everyone.

The sweet spot is to see the score--to see how unfair and dangerous life can be, to know how rigged social power is--but NOT to lose your sense of agency.
To see the score but not to dim the freedom and generosity of your eyes.

Hm. I've known a few people who managed to do that. It takes some doing. In real life--in my life--how?