How do you spell the sound of a raspberry?
Everyone was perfectly nice to me today, but I felt enormously put upon.
I roll my eyes at myself.
Maturity, I read once, is the ability to gracefully accept paradox and contradiction.
Fine, I am not mature.
I am gracelessy grumpy about my contradictory feelings of immense pride and joy and EXCITEMENT for Marz, who is heading out for the New Mexico goat farm on Friday, and my feelings of loss at her departure (however temporary it may prove—she may be back in the spring, ...or not).
It’s good, it’s time: Fly away, little bird!
Here, hanging out at the lake on Sunday with Julia and Marz, and new doll Spike (“the Marz doll”—she cut off her hair—“it’s stupid”, she said)— and Annie Evening, the nicest of the dolls:
Meanwhile, I’m not blogging or commenting much because it’s such a pain to do that on this phone.
Here is Spike, hanging in a hammock. She has strung my mask between two bikes’ sprockets:
What a great idea for a hammock! I'll have to make one for Meg. What a shame to cut off the hair, though I remember doing it myself to a doll once when I was about four, thinking it would just grow back like my own hair did after a cut. I never did that again though.
ReplyDeleteAdvice. I cannot give advice. No one can. We are individual spirits, on our own individual journeys, learning, giving, experiencing.
ReplyDeleteI think New Mexico is a wonderful place, I liked Colorado too. I often read between your lines. Content. Well you did apply for another job in a different locality, I remember that part. You don't own a house as such. Car. Big things that are hard to deal with.
In back of the closet, or perhaps under the stairs, in there someplace, is a small satchel, suitcase, soft sided bag. It's not very big, but big enough. I just know you have such a thing.
Why do you have to lose your deep relationship with Marz?...even for a few months? Isn't there room enough for 2 in New Mexico? They have the internet, I just know they do.
When I was in my very early 20s I helped raise some goats for a friend. They are the funniest animals. They ate up all the blackberry brambles in Oregon where we lived at the time. They loved to tell us about it. And they liked to get on the car and the tiny board on top of the fence.
Hey, I'm an old man, but 3 years ago I went to Europe with my husband. Huge trip. We rode the train from Vienna to Berlin where I lived in my other life. I didn't know how sick I was when I made that trip, but I made it and now I'm thinking about the dreaded plague going away so we can do it again. No, I'm not too old, I'm still alive and feeling better than ever, even given that pesky cancer.
Not advise, my wish for you if one can wish for another is that you have a great day, I truly do love reading your blog.
If somehow you wound up in New Mexico you two would be a lot closer to us here in Texas.
Wouldn't that be something?
Did you ever see the movie, “You Can't Take It With You?” I liked the old one, 1938. I think you would enjoy the energy of it, perhaps not the specificity.
That's not advice, just sharing my thoughts.
Tom
I wouldn't worry about being grumpy. We can't be sweetness and light at all times and it is understandable as your friend is going off for a while. Spike looks like she will make a good companion for her on her travels-if she is going that is. No time to wash your hair whilst tending goats whose needs must come first! Annie Evening is a lovely name.
ReplyDeleteRIVER: I like to choose the dolls who have something different, so I liked that River had cut off her hair. She likes it!
ReplyDeleteBut you're right--it won't grow back, and such short hair leaves the head cold:
She wore a headband when she left town with Marz.
TOM: Thanks for your good comment! I'm sorry to learn you are living with cancer, but glad to hear you're feeling better than ever.
I did consider going to New Mexico for... 0.68 seconds (like Data in Star Trek: First Contact):
I don't like farming or deserts. (Lived in Denver and Tucson when I was young, and visited NM.)
Most importantly, it's Marz's journey, and she will share it in writing.
I've got lots of challenges and adventure where I am--most especially in my work.
I saw “You Can't Take It With You?” ages ago. Might be a good one for watching this winter.
SARAH: Thanks, you're right--it's perfectly okay to feel out of sorts and sad sometimes!
Spike DID end up joining Marz---and you're right again--her hair is low maintenance.
Annie Evening is a lovely doll.