I just deleted my dating-site accounts, after four weeks.
What a relief!
I'm still chatting on email with a couple people I met--the dollhouse–maker and Very Nice Sue. Will they become pals?
Too soon to say.
I don't regret the time spent. Mostly what it did was allow me to do a Life Review, which was not what I expected.
Locating where I am, what I want, what I love, how I see the world.
In the end, being on the sites felt like going down the wrong road. I had to turn around to get back on the road I was on. Then I realized I'd been on the right road all along.
What do I love?
I love blogging.
I love the kinds of friendship that arise from it--not always, but they're mostly easy, no-pressure connections. We're like bees, moving pollen around while we do what we want to be doing anyway.
We're here because we like to write (record in words): join in, if you like, or not. Stay or go, freely.
I love my work in the world.
Some people on the dating sites were adamantly political. I admire that (mostly). But I am not.
I'm okay where I am. For instance, I have a little corner where I can do what I can do: my book displays. When the store reopened, for two weeks I displayed books by and about BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color).
Last week, I changed it to the100th Anniversary of Suffrage for Women. On Aug 18, 1919, the 19th Amendment was ratified:
I love my friends and the people in my life.
I may not exactly love all of them, but if anything, I'd like to give the people in my life more time, not add more of them. Even some of my family, and my coworkers... Well, I'd like to be more attentive, to Be Here, Now with people.
I love the girlettes.
I am some version of my happiest, best self, playing with the girlettes. I get more joy from toy photography (taking and sharing) than almost anything. I want to do that more.
. . . Also, several stuffed bears and one otter are waiting in the wings for restoration.
❧ ❧ ❧
Here's Eeble, waiting for Marz to arrive on her bike and take her back home last night. Eeble had been staying here, but she said there were already so many others... (Too true.)
She wanted to go home.
(That's where I live, the house to the left of the tree.)
She was going to wait there for Marz, but she got distracted by the sound of acorns falling on the sidewalk...
She brought hats back to the yard for Valentine & SweePo, who'd been making clothes out of oak leaves.
It would be lovely if Love fell out of the sky like an acorn, but I don't want to pursue it like a job, after all. I have enough.
When Marz arrived, and Eeble was in her pocket, she told me an I-Ching hexagram had reminded her of the girlettes and me.
Its name was something like, The Small Beyond.
What a relief!
I'm still chatting on email with a couple people I met--the dollhouse–maker and Very Nice Sue. Will they become pals?
Too soon to say.
I don't regret the time spent. Mostly what it did was allow me to do a Life Review, which was not what I expected.
Locating where I am, what I want, what I love, how I see the world.
In the end, being on the sites felt like going down the wrong road. I had to turn around to get back on the road I was on. Then I realized I'd been on the right road all along.
What do I love?
I love blogging.
I love the kinds of friendship that arise from it--not always, but they're mostly easy, no-pressure connections. We're like bees, moving pollen around while we do what we want to be doing anyway.
We're here because we like to write (record in words): join in, if you like, or not. Stay or go, freely.
I love my work in the world.
Some people on the dating sites were adamantly political. I admire that (mostly). But I am not.
I'm okay where I am. For instance, I have a little corner where I can do what I can do: my book displays. When the store reopened, for two weeks I displayed books by and about BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color).
Last week, I changed it to the100th Anniversary of Suffrage for Women. On Aug 18, 1919, the 19th Amendment was ratified:
“The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied... on account of sex.”
I love my friends and the people in my life.
I may not exactly love all of them, but if anything, I'd like to give the people in my life more time, not add more of them. Even some of my family, and my coworkers... Well, I'd like to be more attentive, to Be Here, Now with people.
I love the girlettes.
I am some version of my happiest, best self, playing with the girlettes. I get more joy from toy photography (taking and sharing) than almost anything. I want to do that more.
. . . Also, several stuffed bears and one otter are waiting in the wings for restoration.
❧ ❧ ❧
Here's Eeble, waiting for Marz to arrive on her bike and take her back home last night. Eeble had been staying here, but she said there were already so many others... (Too true.)
She wanted to go home.
She was going to wait there for Marz, but she got distracted by the sound of acorns falling on the sidewalk...
She brought hats back to the yard for Valentine & SweePo, who'd been making clothes out of oak leaves.
It would be lovely if Love fell out of the sky like an acorn, but I don't want to pursue it like a job, after all. I have enough.
When Marz arrived, and Eeble was in her pocket, she told me an I-Ching hexagram had reminded her of the girlettes and me.
Its name was something like, The Small Beyond.
I wonder what it would be like to go back to the world of personal ads — the kind that used to be in urban newspapers. I answered one in 1983 and had dinner with a lovely woman who then (unbeknowst to me) kept after a friend for three months or so to call me. The friend was Elaine, who called in January 1984.
ReplyDeleteBut anyway — the thing was that someone had to write, words, whole sentences, by hand, on paper. Quite a different form of self-presentation from “Hi” or “’S’up.”
Well, you gave it a whirl, and as you said you got something out of it, too. Nothing ventured, nothing gained -- right? Dating IS a lot of work, when you come right down to it -- and it's great that it made you re-assess what you enjoy and find fulfilling in your life.
ReplyDeleteGreat pictures! How clever of the SweePo and Valentine to make oak leaf clothes: the acorn hats are a perfect accessory. Eeble looks so expectant: glad she gets to go home.
ReplyDeleteLoving the Girlettes, A BOOK, I am thinking, so clever and endearing.
ReplyDeleteGood job with the dating adventure. Now you know! "The Small Beyond" is perfect, for EVERYTHING!
The Girlettes make me smile every time I see them.
ReplyDeleteMICHAEL: Hey, that's a neat story about you and Elaine!
ReplyDeletebink & Maura met through a personal ad in the paper---bink was especially struck by Maura's beautiful penmanship in her handwritten reply!
But I do remember that the ads were often pretty blah:
"DSWF looking for SWM. Loves to walk in the rain."
STEVE: Yeah, a lot of work--felt like job hunting. Not bad work, I just wasn't motivated enough to bother. :)
As you say, it served another purpose, an unintended one, so that's good.
BINK: Those girlettes, they are clever bunnies!
LINDA SUE: Thanks, I rather think this blog is the Book.
Title: The Small Beyond