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Sunday, February 16, 2020

Fearful and Wonderful

A troubled young woman came into the store yesterday, saying she felt dizzy. Could she have some water? 

I took her into the break room, sat her down, and made her a cup of tea. We have random tea bags in the cupboards and I found a Honey & Lavender Stress Relief blend.

She kept nodding out out--freezing for a few seconds in mid-motion. I had never seen that before in real life, and I was grateful I had Narcan in my bag nearby.
I stayed in the break room and worked on my computer till she felt better, and luckily it didn't come to me needing to administer the anti-opioid.

She clearly had a million needs, well beyond what we could supply, but I got her a suitcase on wheels, a sleeping bag, some warm socks, and a box of cookies.

Mr Linens said, "You've given her enough," and then he helped me find her a portable pop-up tent.
"She's using you," he said, and added, ". . .but she's a child of God too."


Before she left, the young woman reached into her bag and dug out this card she gave me in thanks.
It reads:
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are loved.
You are enough.
You are not alone.
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Psalm 9: 9-10
A volunteer who read it said, "That's Psalm 139, she got the number wrong," and he went on to tell me he'd been an addict and one night in prison, God had come to him.

"Just out of the blue?" I asked.


"No," he said, "I was looking for him."


That night when I showed Mz, she said, "This is a jumble of psalms and self-help sayings."

So I looked it up, and yeah, that first line, "You are fearfully and wonderfully made," is Psalm 139:14, and the last line is correctly attributed, Psalm 9:9-10.
The others are fridge-magnet sayings.

I've changed my mind about religion, working at the thrift store.

I was never anti-religion. I put religious organizations in the same category as other social institutions, like political office: 
prone to all the abuses humans perpetrate on one another (and ourselves). Also possible avenues of grace and goodness.
I still see it that way.

The other day, the new cashier [NC] asked if I was religious.
She lets people know she has a PhD, and I guessed by her tone that the answer she was looking for was "no".


I said no, because that is true;

but I added that I consider myself a cultural Catholic and respect the good work so many Catholics do in social justice, fueled by their faith. "The stories mean a lot to me," I said.

NC started to lecture me about how the Catholic Church owns billions of dollars, etc.

"You're preaching to the choir," I said.

I do not need informing of the historical and current atrocities of the Catholic Church. But I myself would not preach against the Church like that, with the attitude that if we got rid of religious organizations, we would get rid of abuse.
If only!


Of course we should shine a spotlight on this and all organizations.
I am always saying, "More checks and balances!!!"

What's changed isn't that. 
I've mostly had an intellectual (literary, artistic, philosophical, socio-political, historical) take on the concept of God, even when I was in the Catholic Church myself.
I see it differently now, after knowing, up close and personal, people who tell me (and I can see its truth) that God saved their lives and continues to guide them.

And seeing people I wish that would happen to, 
like this girl who could easily die on the streets if she doesn't get some sort of salvation.

I don't believe in God in the same the way these folks I meet through work do, as if God were a person, but that doesn't matter.
I do see there is a power source that we can tap into--call it neurological bootstrapping, or a metaphysical force like gravity, or a Higher Power, or anything you like. 

I see people who have nothing, nothing, nothing at all, calling on that in the form of a personal God, and it working. 
And I see them offering it to other people.
NOT harping, not preaching and lecturing, but simply holding out this hope, for free. 

"This could help."

The change I feel is something like the difference between seeing an animal in a zoo vs holding something alive, its heart beating in your hand.

2 comments:

  1. One of the best Hidden Brain episodes I've heard lately directly addresses that voice in our head (God...Cher...) that saves/helps us.

    https://www.npr.org/2020/01/27/799963509/secret-friends-tapping-into-the-power-of-imagination

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh!!! I'm excited to listen to that---thanks for the link!

    ReplyDelete