Activated

After work I came home to this:

I was activated by seeing a personal trainer at the Y this week.
I surprised myself by how HAPPY I was yesterday to go to the gym and do a basic workout (squats, hip lifts, leg raises, kettle-bell arm lifts...).

I'm 25 lbs. up from when I walked Camino at fifty years old, in 2011 (eight years ago)––and it's not muscle mass.
I don't mind being fatter for look's sake, but I very much mind being weaker. I've never been slim, but I've always been strong––genetics + good luck.

It's no mystery why I've gained weight.
When I checked with my doctor, who's around my age, just to be sure, she laughed and said, "Welcome to the club." Weight gain is fairly normal (but not inevitable), post-menopause.
I suffered some injuries, stopped exercising, got older, upped the donuts I ate, and––bingo. Biology works!

I know I can be stronger again. It's going to take a little effort. I was dubious, but now that I've started, I think I'll enjoy that.
It's fun to begin things--the immediate results are rewarding. 

Then comes the long slog of The Rest of Your Life. I want to aim for that.
And if I slip up, I want to keep trying again, again, again. Like I am now.

Look we've been given these bodies
we don't understand.
We could spend our whole lives
learning how to live in them.

--Ruth L. Schwartz, from her poem "AIDS Education, Seventh Grade"