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Sunday, April 3, 2016

I don't even know what to title this.

I blogged last week about how hard it is to write sex scenes without being unintentionally ridiculous (and the target of intentional ridiculousness is maybe even harder to hit). 

I would never mock bad fan fiction, springing as it does from the pure hearts but poor fiction-writing skills of writers like me.
But published novels, that's another thing.

I just came across this scene in a Published Book that made me crow with delight at the… the "freshness", shall we say, of its metaphors.
This is the passage; the speaker is a young man having sex with a young woman [A]:

"For most people, sex was an end in itself. For me, it was a vehicle. The perfect vehicle. A slow-burning rocket headed toward the white well of infinity, with flames hot enough to torch my memories and acceleration strong enough to life me off a barren blasted earth and point me toward the possibility of paradise. The longer the journey, the longer the flames burned, the better it was. If I could have made it last forever, if I could go and never come back, if I could be incinerated, that would be best. 

At some point, [A] fell away from me like a spent booster rocket.  …We were tangled up together in my bed, panting into each other's faces like a pair of cheetahs at the end of a kill sprint…"

Oh, myyyy. Nothing like that post-lift–off cheetah breath.

9 comments:

  1. Wow. Nothing as bitter as a poorly mixed metaphor.

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  2. Plus what really impresses me here is that each metaphor *on its own* is sort of brilliantly weird!

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  3. It feels like there should be yellow CAUTION tape around those sentences. Yikes.

    It's fun to find the novel via the excerpt and read reviews. Yes, what a well-crafted, eloquent novel. My eye!

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  4. I know! The book jacket had reputable looking review quotes on it. But the whole book (well, what I skimmed of it) was full of this Space Safari kind of stuff. (Pretty impressive actually, in its way.)

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  5. Oh, god. Reminds me of Tolkien going on about how moss grows on trees. Everyone knows and no one cares and did you really go with rockets and cheetahs and infinity? Shaddup!

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  6. "The moss was like a cheetah running up the bark on a rocket to infinity."
    - J.R.R. Tolkien

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  7. Marz: You're even righter than you know---I used an initial for the woman's name, but it's Arwen.
    Yep, the panting cheetah booster rocket is an elf from Tolkein.

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  8. Well, the outlandish metaphor is arguably kind of Chandleresque.

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  9. SPARKER: I love Chandler, and I can never figure out what's going on in his writing either! But believe me, the whole book does not maintain this level of excellent bafflement.

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