About seven to twelve things have piled on top of me in recent days, from athlete's foot to computer glitches, and I've trundled on like a little choo-choo, all brave and good.
Until this afternoon.
bink and I went for a walk, and I had a good old self-esteem meltdown on a park bench, telling her I feel like a miserable creature in every way, but especially, I confessed, for feeling that way. (Those of you prone to double-dipping yourself will recognize this specious line of reasoning.)
"I want to be confident..." I wailed. "Like Captain Kirk!"
"Fine!" she said. "Feel bad with confidence!"
Bless that girl.
When we parted, I gave a little cheerleading chant, "Give me a B, give me an A, give me a D! I feel BAD!"
Except, of course, now I don't.
Now I'm off to dinner at Joanna's, where we will raise a glass to our new senator--and watch Picnic!
"...telling her I feel like a miserable creature in every way, but especially, I confessed, for feeling that way. (Those of you prone to double-dipping yourself will recognize this specious line of reasoning.)"
ReplyDeleteGorgeous. Why just feel bad when you can feel bad about feeling bad? Isn't that twice as good? Or, I suppose, twice as bad--in a good way?
Been there. As a friend of my own was telling me recently, maybe that's just you, maybe that's just who you are--someone who feels bad sometimes. Someone who feels bad about feeling bad.
Trundle on, little choo-choo! Oh, how cute is that.
Hi, R.!
ReplyDeleteThe magic of feeling bad about feeling bad is that it makes us feel more than twice as bad! It's some sort of exponential thingy (can't do math analogies) that make us feel more like five times as bad! At least, that's how it works for me.
I don't accept that it's forever "just who I am," exactly. It's how I'm feeling at the moment, for sure, but I believe it is not hardwired but rather learned behavior and as such, can gradually be unlearned.
That's the theory anyway!
Ah, yes, it's nurture vs. nature, in a way. In a non-nurturing way. Exponentially.
ReplyDeletenurture like Mommie, Dearest
ReplyDelete(+ nature like millefoil) : )
Feel bad with confidence! That is some excellent advice! It's true, when Jim feels bad he does it with flair...
ReplyDeleteHe really does, doesn't he?
ReplyDeleteI think he's a kind of model of emotional clarity, weirdly enough.